start building hope for a better relationship in the future. I told him I permanently deleted all my social media and contacts in my phone and i’m willing to do whatever it takes to show him just how trustworthy i am. You've Been Betrayed, Making Learning How To Get Over Heartbreak Seem Impossible. When you're blindsided, … Often used to describe the areas around a car that cannot be seen with the rear-view or side mirrors. The other day when I went to go see him after work he was acting like he didn’t want me there and being really quiet and not really responding to anything I was saying. (might have moved on in a few months but yeh). I, also, included that I got a job and am going to the gym more (Things he encouraged me to do). We were talking about our future and making plans, we started these new routines that we would do every week like go to the grocery store every Friday and buy ingredients to make a huge dinner and cook together. I am saying that if you accept reality you are going to appear different to your ex boyfriend. So, yesterday my friend told me that she had spoken to my ex to get some clarification (I had no idea) about the breakup. A blindside breakup can only occur when one party of the relationship believes that they are on the same wavelength as the other party of the relationship. My friends were as well. Blindsided & Heartbroken by Breakup First time posting here! Now, why would I tell you something so embarrassing about myself? Start by taking back your power by making more appropriate actions. Im concerned about him and what he is doing and I know I shouldn’t be an did that hey his hat I am who I should worry about. In this case CPL up there thought things were great between her boyfriend and her but there was a disconnect going on that she wasn’t aware of. 1. He just bought an apartment here, and we moved in together in February (temporarily for me though as Im off to uni soon again just had a semester of internship which I chose to do at home) His dad passed away when he was 18 (hes 25 now), and Im pretty sure hes not dealt with it yet (I’ve not wanted to force him to talk about it, I’ve let him slowly open up to me instead). That’s the right steps! 1. to attack someone by surprise 2. a kick-ass Swedish hard rock band. I explained my feelings and what we talked about to him, and I honestly wish we would have talked about this before he made this decision because I’m more understanding about his time than I think what he’s giving me credit for. Within weeks I had met his mother, his friends, extended family and two children and we were traveling together as a couple. As Im leaving very soon I would like to end us on a high. He remarked on several occassions after the break that it was ok for me to and that I should call him. He told me I shouldn’t be afraid to become attached to him because what we were working towards was being in a committed relationship, and I believed him on that, and it honestly made me feel secure. Last week was the first week i hadn’t seen him for a full week due to work and school. Those that do aren’t bothered by it or think that it makes me look ugly. I tried to improve, to give him space, to let him do whatever he wanted to do. Coach Craig discusses. (Like maybe this kid is one of my ex’s new friends and they’re kind of baiting me). I was crushed. He had said he wanted to give it a chance between us though because he really did want to be with me. Are you going to do the no contact rule? And by feeling comfortable and “at peace” you experience joy and happiness. I hope you are well, take care of yourself” The easiest way is to keep a strong balance between friends, work, self, and your bf. Five Ways to Deal with the ‘Blindsided’ Breakup. He came to church very late that day and he seen off – he wasn’t himself. He thinks I’m a wonderful woman but we’re “victims of circumstance”. My mom, convinced that this was just him needing space to work for the upcoming election (he works for a union) and that I should open up a dialogue so this didn’t become a standoff, convinced me to call him. Yesterday morning I saw him and we shared many laughs and we seemed ok. That night we were at a party together and he told me he was having a really bad day and said he does not want to get back together. Still, we would fly and see each other every second week during semesters. It’s easy. Take the quiz. Anyways, when he came back home he seemed happy to see me. Heâs just stubborn when it comes to expressing his feelings, he rather just holds it in and deal with it internally. Marina and I both agreed that generally there are signs in a relationship for when a couple isn’t on the same wavelength. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. You have to be willing to embarrass yourself for this to work and that’s something that a lot of people won’t do. This is probably also one of the reasons why I have been so needy. We were still friends on Facebook at this time and a man I had met posted a video on my page, and within minutes my ex posted his relationship status. I’m struggling each day and I know he is liking everything on his new girlfriends page and changing himself. Can men function in relationships when they do not feel they are “winning?” I really love this man and am sad about the definite potential our relationship had as well as the severance of the relationship between his children, mother and I. I think you still have a shot.. Just start the count of nc from the day after that talk. We didn’t have any contact thoughout the whole day. thats when I eventually decided to leave the apartment and go stay with my family for a few days to let him be while “he needed to think.”. Back story: We have been together for almost 7 years. And I lived in Friendswood, Texas of all places. During our last meeting I stayed at his house fo a night( it hadn’t happened before) and he hugged me, just like we used to do, when we were couple. However recently something has changed. It’s not an easy question to answer but we can tackle that one in a second. you know how much you mean to me!” and embraced me and we kissed. When you are struck by surprise from an unexpected direction, you are blindsided, as if from your blind side.Do not be confused by the many punning titles using the deliberate misspelling “blindsighted” into using the latter spelling for this meaning. That’s especially true when the breakup catches you by surprise. When I came home, he was acting all normal. I had made some comment earlier that week about a wedding dress i saw on Facebook and he said that he would be standing across from me while i was wearing that wedding dress. What do you mean by restart? I even ran into him the next day on campus and he came running over to me with the biggest smile on his face and acting like we never broke up. Please please help, He seems to miss me.. The whole night he also jusy kept saying to me “casandra you’re so beautiful. My Promise To You- You aren’t going to find a better piece of content on the web about “blindside breakups” than this article. But once in a while, I’ll throw it in a conversation like “oh yea that just reminded me babe, the other day at work this guy…”. and that she could tell me this. He said that he needed space. “Ooo what news? Im just really upset that he didn’t respond to me at all! Hes just made his mind up and stubborn as he is, he will stick to it no matter what. I can’t give you advice on how to deal with it. When I didn’t hear from him that weekend, I went to visit my family for the week and get some space and clarity and I texted him to tell him that and that I thought I deserved an explanation and a say. It’s not like you can fake it either. He felt insecure before, and then he broke up with you, after that it looks like he expected you to chase, which is good that you didn’t.. And maybe he was being stubborn because pride is all he’s got.. And then it looks like his ego was hurt when he invited you out then you declined. I’m not sure what this means I really think that kid is your ex..it’s a very small chance that it’s a coincidence.. so that means you didnt actually did 30 days.. I’m not sure if I should continue with the nc or just contact him and get to the bottom of everything. he might still have feelings but that doesnt mean he wants to go back with you, so that’s his way of knowing things about you…. nope.. you cant control him but be thankful that he did that instead of using you as a rebound. I tried to convince him to not take this decision but he seemed to have made his mind up. I know I can’t force him to have feelings for me if he doesn’t but I know that we can get that spark back and we can work on our relationship and improve our communication. There’s this kind of numb feeling..idk how to explain it…anyways…here’s why he broke up with me: he and his ex were pretty heavy together… “I love you baby” and they were going to move in…until she cheated on him…that was in February(2016) we started dating in July(2016) he still has feelings for her and felt it’s not fair to me to be together with those feelings…he says in the future he hopes we can try again…is there any way to speed up his healing process so I can get him back faster? His actions and words are confusing me. We’re in college, I’m a junior and he’s graduating in May. It has bothered me all throughout my life. Anyway, I don’t know what he’s thinking but I know he is the type of guy that if he’s missing me/ knows he made a mistake and he sees that I’m okay and happy, he won’t tell me because he wouldn’t want to bother me, he will just deal with his problems by himself. The least you can do right now is to try the no contact rule and show through social media that you have other things going on in your life, not just school…. This is theimehathe second girl he has been with since the breakup, he mentioned that living in theimehathe hegemony 5th wheel was just too crowded with 2 dogs and 2 people. It’s also important to note that self actualized people are ok with their own quirks and have a high level of acceptance for all types of things. Like how can you not text me happy birthday? Blindside definition, to tackle, hit, or attack (an opponent) from the blind side: The quarterback was blindsided and had the ball knocked out of his hand. I want him to know that he has me to get through this rough patch but he must let me in. As of right now, i’m trying NC. I received a text from him around 1 a.m. while he was at work stating that, âHe could not do the relationshipâ. Anyways, we are now meeting next Friday. The next week came and went and i didn’t hear anything from him. So, what does this have to do with you and your blindside breakup? Thank you Amor! The next day, I went to go get my laptop from his house and he was all over me and was crying telling me that he made a mistake. Another thing about him is that he is not really the talkative type, which I also knew at the beginning of our relationship. He was my bestfriend amd my boyfriend and im determined to get him back. It’s also important to note that you are almost the exact opposite of this right now. I’m starting NC today. (With Chase Kosterlitz). I go out more. I can tell that he is depressed about something but he is not the type of person to talk about his feelings and he pushes away the people that care about him most. Or (name deleted). I just want to say everything is going so great, even better than before the break up. Go Girl!! There was no magic button to press for me to just “get over it.” I don’t know if he feel like I need to be around him all the time and stuff but honestly I was happy with the way our relationship flowed with the space we had, and looking forward to spending time with him. After a couple of days of not talking to him, he broke up with me. It’s easy. But, now, today, I realize, you are correct- it really isn’t me. He text me the other day saying “hey. At this point, i feel helpless. And I am definitely not going to let you go about trying to get your ex boyfriend back in the wrong way. but it can take longer than 2 months this time before you actually see progress with him again. The kid ended uo messaging me, and i kept it cool and neutral, just incase. I honestly could see myself marrying him. I figured the best way to start this section off would be to provide you with a comment we got here on the website a few months ago. It makes no sense. Any advice please!!! This is essentially where blindside breakups come from because one party is thinking nothing is wrong and the other party is. I am certainly not a posting type of person but, hey, apparently there are a lot of women that deal with this type of guy so why not? It felt like a really special moment to me! Then on Monday (10/17) he broke up with me, completely blindsided!!! I am 23 and he is 25. Right on my neck and I absolutely hate it. I don’t understand why he would text me ask if im ignoring him and then go and ignore me. ð Find things to distract yourself like find a new hobby, sign up for a class in something you … Then he proceeds to say that he doesn’t think the relationship has been going well. That book is literally like a how-to guide on our relationship. And this is a common theme that I see with blindside breakups all the time. We were talking all through the documentary and he even ate my leftovers from a few nights before. I haven’t heard from him since that time. Hell, he is going to expect you to act desperate. Care to take a wild guess at what type of breakup this article is going to talk about? One of the coolest things about Ex Boyfriend Recovery is the fact that we have been blessed with a lot of traffic. I have also written a letter, which I am tempted to give to him after we’ve met up. We won’t change. Thank you so much for sharing! She is 8 years younger. I just want him to know that I do have time for him and the kind of relationship he is looking for, if that WAS why he broke up with me. All I wanted to do was to put this behind us and move forward, but I struggled as I didn’t receive the apology I needed (just for him to tell me he is really sorry and what he could do to make me feel better). No response. I expressed my concern to my family and friends and told them about all the coincidence and they have the same feeling as i do, that my ex is somehow behind this new guy talking to me. When you're blindsided by a breakup, it's often tempting to try and fix whatever your partner thinks is wrong with the relationship. One of the most amazing things about human beings is the fact that we are all unique in our own way. I definitely didn’t see it coming at all full stop. Now, my ex ex boyfriend did this as well as cheating irl and my ex knows this. I think he thinks I did because I’ve gotten sad when he’s had to leave but that’s normal because I love the time we spend together. 1 Comment. When he gets to his senses, talk.. honestly it looks like miscommunication.. Wow!!! 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